I can think of the past
I can replay it in my head
Until I adjust it the way I want it to go
But it’s only in my head
I can think of the future
 can replay it in my head
I can imagine what it would be like
10 years from now, 6 years
I can imagine all the years
But it’s only in my head
While I’m in my head I’m missing
The present moment
The Now,
what is happening outside Of my head
The only thing that is tangible,
the only thing that is real
The only thing I’m capable changing
is myself
the only thing I can control 
is myself 
I can change the way I think of things
I can change the way I react
I can control my reactions
I am not one dimensional
I am capable of change
I am in charge of this one
​

Who told you your thoughts were negative? It’s just a thought. You don’t have to make it reality. You don’t have to let it feel like it’s happening when you’re the one that made it up.


Then you feel guilty, fearful or sad like it’s actually happening. When in reality you are perfectly fine, sitting on your lounge chair, listening to bird chirps.


If you listen carefully, you will realize that life is happening right now. This very moment life continues whether you are sad, fearful or not. Do you want to live stranded between past and future? Or live gratefully in this presence moment.


This is the key, to be here now. Your own thoughts are driving you insane, it is the root cause of all of your suffering. You may think that someone else is to blame for your suffering because they did or said something to you. It is true they may have hurt you in the past but unless you are being abused daily. You are suffering because of your thoughts now, of what they did to you in the past. Or worst you made up a scenario that hasn’t happened and now you are fearful that it will happen because you thought of it. Here is a reminder it hasn’t happened probably won’t ever happen, you are making it up.


Here is the truth. This present moment you are free. Free to think and to choose which path your mind will go. Why do you consistently choose suffering if you truly want happiness?


It is also true that you are in control, you are the captain of this ship. Don’t live life on auto pilot. Become aware of your thoughts and what you feed your mind. It is you that get to  choose to dismiss the thought, you choose to forget the thought , and you can also choose to change the narrative, make it a better and brighter thought . Don’t let your thoughts tell you how to feel or how to act. Run your thoughts! Don’t let your thoughts run you.

Learn to be your own standard of beauty. Because, there was never nor will there ever be another one like you. You are unique, therein lies your true inner beauty. You cannot be compared, you cannot be duplicated, there is only one you.


My very own thoughts use to tell me I wasn’t beautiful. Ignoring that I was a beauty pageant winner.  I am also a model and a poet that would push myself into the limelight. In fact every where I went I was reminded that others saw me as the beautiful, Bella. I was always complimented.


Yet, I still use to think I was ugly. There wasn’t anything that I could see that was particularly ugly. But my thoughts told me I was not beautiful. I thought I had to have flawless skin, straight teeth and long hair to achieve beauty. It was a constant source of sadness for me. It made me feel insecure, so I acted insecurely in life and relationships. I would dim my light and pretend that I wasn’t good enough. I would act shy and meek. I was allowing my thoughts to control my perception of myself. I was living in my head not in reality.


It wasn’t until I decided I was enough, that I truly realized how beautiful I am. I didn’t have to achieve anything to be beautiful. I can just be Beautiful. My stomach didn’t need to be flat, I didn’t need wear make up or have straight teeth to be pretty. All I have is me. I was created with such care and thoughtfulness. How dare I be ungrateful. In doing so I’d somehow became even more beautiful. I’m more radiant with confidence knowing what I have is enough.


No one on this planet can convince you of your beauty, but they see you. They see how your eyes light up when you speak about your  passion, or how your dimple still show up when you smirk. They see beauty when they see you. But it’s only up to you to DECIDE that you see beauty when you see you.